Blow the Dam.
Rodman (Kirkpatrick) Dam
We can argue in circles, or we can read the evidence. RiversReconnected.com
The Metaphor
Sometimes satire says what science can't.
Big lake ≠ better ecosystem.
Muck is real. So are phased plans.
You can love fishing and still support restoration.
Blooms are a watershed problem.
Sometimes you need the right tool for the job.
Let rivers be rivers.
The Choice Is Obvious
One path leads to stagnation. The other leads to life.
Stagnant. Algae-choked. Lifeless.
Manatees struggle in polluted reservoir water behind Rodman Dam that blocks natural flow. This isn't a habitat—it's a holding tank.
Flowing. Clear. Alive.
Crystal-clear springs with thriving wildlife, natural flow patterns, and a healthy ecosystem. This is what Florida's rivers were meant to be.
Remove the blockage. Reconnect the river. Restore the life.
What This Is
This is the satirical wing of a serious movement to remove Rodman (Kirkpatrick) Dam and restore Florida's Ocklawaha River. We use bold visuals and playful energy to grab attention and make the core point instantly: remove the blockage, reconnect the rivers.
We're smiling—but we're not kidding.
Top Rodman Myths Debunked
Quick rebuttals. Full receipts on the serious site.